If you show up at our dorm unannounced, trying to rekindle your joke of a relationship with her, expecting us to just naturally allow you to sleep over, that's just rude and inconsiderate. And that only helps prove my case that you are a fucking douche. Cause you know what, she deserves better than you. You're too damn selfish and immature and you take advantage of the fact that she's too giving. You're making it really hard for me to keep up the act that I tolerate your existence. I put up this act cause I know she really likes you, and I can cause I'm a pretty good fucking liar. But I'm getting tired and impatient.

11/21/09--the most rewarding night of this entire semester. When I can lie on my bed. Alone. Air conditioner on full blast. The only sound filling the air is that of John Mayer's "Where The Light Is" concert album, and it sounds exceptionally good because the lights are off. Nearly pitch black, the only light illuminating the room is from my laptop. I honestly can't remember the last time I was able to feel every second of every minute of every hour of a day. The last time I was able to experience a moment, instead of rushing past hundreds of them, concerning myself with bringing up my gpa, or what time the next bus comes, checking the weather channel to see if it'll rain or not. I'm very particular about checking the weather. But today is a wonderfully lazy Saturday--a cool, wonderfully lazy Saturday in which I can lock myself in my room, stay in my pjs, and turn up the volume since everyone's gone. Open the blinds all the way...it's dark enough that the city itself brightens the room.


http://twitpic.com/qfuya
http://twitpic.com/qfvff

Don't know that children's song? It's okay.  Only reason I know it is cause I had to work with preschoolers this past year.  It's catchy as hell I can tell you that.  Anyway, so yesterday I found my old elementary school yearbook of when I was in 3rd grade.  I saw all these pictures and I was like "*gasp* I remember him!" and "*gasp* I remember her!"  In particular, there were two girls I was fairly close with back then.  From my memories alone, I think we were pretty tight o_o.  And soo, ten years later, I decided to friend them on facebook (explaining who I was of course lol), as awkward and random it might appear to them.  Hopefully they'll friend me back =/  I think, if I hadn't moved, we would have been pretty good friends.  But of course, if I hadn't moved, I also wouldn't have the amazing set of friends I do today.  I regret not keeping in contact with them, as they still seem like the down-to-earth girls I used to hang with.  Man, we used to play with each other during recess, and go to each other's b-day parties >_<.  I miss my childhood.

I had the most realistic dream when I took a nap today.  Basically, two women were performing surgery in my abdomen area.  They woke me up in the middle of it (why the hell they'd do that, only my mind knows) to show me that there was a tumor or some sort of growth in there.  And then they started draining my blood with this plastic tubing, and my blood looked orange instead of dark red, which freaked out all of us.  Being freaked out, I asked them to put me back under for the rest of the surgery.  Later, I woke up and they told me I had cancer and I was going to die soon.  T_T There was much more to the dream, like me having to mingle with friends and family while keeping it a secret.  But ughh...felt so real.  When I woke up I checked my abdomen to see if the surgery scar was there >_>